The short answer
Feedback from loved ones feels like a verdict on who you are, not just what you did. That's why it stings when a colleague's same words wouldn't. The fix is learning to hear it as information, not judgment — and that takes a small deliberate habit.
At work, feedback has a clean border — it's about a task, a project, a deliverable. You can take it in, act on it, and move on. But when your partner says something, even softly, that border disappears. Their words touch your identity, your worth, your place in the relationship. Research on how people receive feedback points to something real here: the closer the relationship, the higher the emotional stakes, and the harder it is to stay open. You're not thin-skinned. You're just unprotected in a way you aren't with colleagues.
Marcus Aurelius noticed something similar — that we give enormous weight to what others think of us, sometimes more than we give to our own clear-eyed view of ourselves. The reframe he's pointing at: when someone close to you offers an observation, you don't have to treat it as their verdict on you. You can treat it as one piece of information from someone who knows you well and, usually, wants good things for you. Their nearness gives their words power — but you decide how much.
This week, try one thing. The next time your partner or a family member says something that makes you want to push back, pause and say out loud: 'Let me think about that.' Just those words. You don't agree, you don't defend — you buy yourself a few seconds to hear the content instead of just the sting. Over time, that pause becomes a habit, and the habit changes the pattern.