LibraryPatternsGetting PromotedI have climbed further than I ever expected, and some…
Problem
Toward Craftsmanship

I have climbed further than I ever expected, and somewhere along the way I became a person I do not entirely recognise — harder, more guarded, shaped by the climb. The success is real, but so is the quiet sense that I lost myself getting here.

Part of the pattern: Getting Promoted
Aureliusguide
Aurelius
Online
The coach is replying…
You might also say it as
  • “I succeeded but do not recognize myself”
  • “the climb changed who I am”
  • “I lost myself getting here”
The path forward
  1. 1Name what you've lost climbing
  2. 2Identify one part of yourself to reclaim
  3. 3Bring it back deliberately
One thing to try this week
Name one quality you had earlier in your career that you miss, and do one small thing to practise it this week. You can carry the success and reclaim the self.
Related problems
A large part of how I see myself comes from the name of where I work — its prestige is borrowed into my own identity. It means I cling to a job partly for the badge, and the thought of leaving the name frightens me more than leaving the work.After being inside, I don't know who I am on the outside or whether I get a real second chance.After time away from work, I feel like I've lost my edge and everyone's passed me by.After time out — for children, illness, or a pause — I have come back to work without the identity I left with. The world moved on, my old confidence is gone, and I am not sure who I am professionally anymore now that I am returning.Anxiety about work performance leading to avoidance or paralysisAs I have become more successful, the people around me treat me differently — more deference, more distance, more assumptions about who I now am. I have what I worked for, and I feel oddly more alone inside it than I expected.

Working through this?

Talk it through with Aurelius, and start where it actually helps.