People have learned not to give me honest feedback. My reactions have trained them. I now operate in an environment I created where almost no real feedback reaches me.

How Aurelius might see it

One way to read this — take what fits, leave what doesn’t.

The problem isn't that people are withholding feedback — it's that your reactions became the feedback. You taught people the cost of honesty, and they stopped paying it. The silence you're in now is a system you built, not a coincidence.

The short answer

Your reactions trained people to go quiet. That silence is information — it tells you the cost of honesty got too high. To get real feedback back, you have to lower that cost first. That means changing how you respond before you ask people to speak up again.

You're not operating with bad information by accident. Research on feedback culture shows that people read the room — they watch what happens to the last person who spoke honestly, and they adjust. When reactions signal danger, honesty dries up. You've been getting feedback this whole time; it just changed shape. The silence, the vague answers, the careful words — that's the feedback now. Marcus wrote about acting only after real examination — not reacting, examining. The gap between hearing something and responding to it is where this gets fixed. Right now that gap is probably very small, or it closes the wrong way. You don't need to agree with every hard thing someone says. You just need to make it safe to say it. That's the whole job. This week, pick one person who used to push back and doesn't anymore. Go to them one-on-one. Say something close to this: 'I think I've made it hard to give me honest feedback. I want to fix that. What's one thing I've gotten wrong lately?' Then listen. Don't explain. Don't defend. Just say 'thank you.' That's it. One conversation, one question, one clean response. That's how you start reopening the door.