When command turns out to mean a solitude no one warned you about

When I made captain I thought about the title and the pay, not about the fact that I'd eat every meal a little apart from the crew I'm responsible for. Out here I've started to feel it, that command means a kind of aloneness no one warned me about, a distance built into the job itself. I'm only beginning to understand what this solitude is going to ask of me over the years.