In the trauma bay I have seconds to choose, and sometimes the person on the table doesn't make it no matter what I do. I go home carrying the faces of the ones I couldn't save, replaying every call. I made the best choice I could with what I had, and I'm still learning how to hold the ones that didn't go my way.
More people experience this than they realize.
You make life-or-death calls fast and then have to live with the ones that still ended badly.
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.