With one manager I go quiet and agree with everything, even when I think she is wrong. With the next I find myself dragging my feet on every request just because he asked. I flip between bowing down and quietly fighting, and I honestly cannot tell anymore which one is the real me and which is just a reflex to whoever holds the power.
More people experience this than they realize.
You swing between obeying and quietly resisting authority and can't tell which is really you.
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.