LibraryScenariosWhen couples fight about everything except what matters
Scenario

When couples fight about everything except what matters

My wife and I realized we've been having the same fight for three years but we've never actually said what we're really fighting about — it's always disguised as arguments about dishes or money or whose turn it is to deal with her mother. We both know we're doing this but we can't seem to stop circling around whatever the real thing is.

Hypatia
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

The real conflict remains untouchable, so it expresses itself through endless proxy battles that solve nothing.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Parenting & Family?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.