LibraryScenariosWhen non-binary partners disagree on visibility strategies in public
Scenario

When non-binary partners disagree on visibility strategies in public

My partner and I are both non-binary but we present very differently and navigate the world differently, and it's creating tension when we're in public together because strangers treat us like we're in a straight relationship and we can't agree on how to respond. They want to correct people every time and I just want to move through the world without constant confrontation, but our different approaches are starting to feel like a judgment on each other's authenticity.

Juana
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Two people sharing an identity are discovering that authenticity can be expressed through fundamentally incompatible approaches to visibility and safety.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Non-binary and genderqueer identity?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.