LibraryScenariosWhen couples discover different authentic selves within the same community
Scenario

When couples discover different authentic selves within the same community

My romantic partner and I joined a polyamory community together when we opened our relationship, but she's thriving socially and I'm struggling to connect, and it's making me question whether I'm actually polyamorous or just trying to be someone I'm not to keep up with her growth. The community keeps telling us we're on different timelines but it feels deeper than that.

Juana
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Differential adaptation to a new community is forcing them to confront whether their chosen identities are authentic or performed.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Self-concept and how it forms?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.