LibraryScenariosWhy 'you don't look autistic' is neither compliment nor comfort
Scenario

Why 'you don't look autistic' is neither compliment nor comfort

People keep telling me I don't 'look autistic' and I can't figure out if that's supposed to be a compliment or an insult.

Juana
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Well-meaning comments reveal deep misunderstanding about neurodivergent identity and lived experience.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Neurodivergent identity — autism and ADHD?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.