My teenage kids have completely different energy rhythms than me and my spouse but we keep trying to force family time into our adult schedule instead of finding when we're all actually present and available. Everyone shows up but no one is really there.
More people experience this than they realize.
You're discovering that coordinating availability is not the same as coordinating presence.
“Where Are You with The examined calendar — whose time is it??”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.