My mom and I volunteer together at the animal shelter, and she keeps making decisions about which dogs to advocate for based on what she thinks will make me happy, and I keep doing the same for her, so neither of us is actually following our own instincts about how to help.
More people experience this than they realize.
Two people are so focused on each other's happiness that they've stopped trusting their own capacity to love the world directly.
“Where Are You with Ubuntu love — the communal dimension?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.