My wife and I both know she went through my laptop and found old messages that weren't inappropriate but were more emotionally intimate with a colleague than she expected. She won't admit she looked and I won't admit I know she looked, so now we're both acting weird around technology and work friendships without ever discussing what actually happened.
More people experience this than they realize.
Mutual knowledge of a boundary crossing that can't be named creates a shadow dynamic where both people modify behavior around an unspoken violation.
“Where Are You with Trust and Fidelity?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.