My teenage daughter and I are both perfectionists and I can see her developing the same anxiety patterns that took me years to work through. When I try to help her it feels like I'm just passing on my own dysfunction even though I'm trying to prevent her from going through what I did.
More people experience this than they realize.
The desire to spare someone from your own pain can become another way of transmitting it.
“Where Are You with Personality frameworks — Big Five MBTI Enneagram?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.