I've had glimpses of what feels like true presence but they always fade and I spend weeks trying to get back there instead of just being where I am.
More people experience this than they realize.
The ego appropriates transcendent moments as achievements to be repeated rather than recognizing presence as the ground of ordinary experience.
“Where Are You with Experiential learning — Dewey and Kolb?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.