LibraryScenariosWhen friend groups have unspoken ideological expectations
Scenario

When friend groups have unspoken ideological expectations

My best friend group from college has this unspoken rule that we all need to be progressive and politically aware and I've been pretending to care about things I don't actually care about for years now because I'm terrified of being cast out. We're planning our annual reunion and I keep thinking about how exhausted I am from performing this version of myself but I also can't imagine losing them.

Rabia
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

The exhaustion of performing an identity to maintain inclusion reveals the difference between belonging authentically and fitting into others' expectations.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Belonging vs. fitting in — the distinction that matters?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.