My in-laws have very different parenting philosophies than we do and when they watch our kids they undermine rules we've set, but they're also incredibly generous and loving grandparents. My spouse gets caught in the middle and we can't figure out how to address it without creating a family crisis.
More people experience this than they realize.
Love and respect don't automatically translate into agreement about what's best for the people you both care about.
“Where Are You with Emotional intelligence and co-regulation?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.