LibraryScenariosWhen parenting advice conflicts with inherited patterns of maternal sacrifice
Scenario

When parenting advice conflicts with inherited patterns of maternal sacrifice

Our parenting group keeps talking about self-care and boundaries but when I try to implement what they suggest, I feel guilty in ways that remind me of my mother's martyrdom, and I can't tell if I'm being selfish or finally being healthy.

Rabia
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

A parent is caught between contemporary parenting wisdom and deeply ingrained patterns learned from their own mother, unable to distinguish self-care from selfishness.

Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with The parent's inner life — what children bring up?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.