I quit my job to manage my twin sons' academic schedules and now they're both at good colleges but I have no identity and no idea who I am when I'm not optimizing someone else's performance.
More people experience this than they realize.
You have so thoroughly merged your identity with your children's achievement that their independence leaves you without a sense of self.
“Where Are You with Tiger parenting — East Asian model examined?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.