My husband and I disagree about whether we should pay zakat on his retirement accounts that we haven't touched yet, and we've been calculating our annual obligation completely differently for three years without realizing it. Now we don't know if we've been underpaying or if we owe back-zakat and we're both getting defensive about whose interpretation was right.
More people experience this than they realize.
You're discovering that shared religious obligations require shared understanding, but you've been operating from different frameworks without knowing it.
“Where Are You with Zakat — Islamic charitable giving as financial system?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.