How do I parent differently than my own parents without feeling guilty or disloyal?

Rabia teaches us that devotion isn't about repetition—it's about intention. You can honor where you come from while choosing a different path forward. That guilt you're feeling? It often means you care deeply about both your roots and your children's flourishing. Start by naming what you're keeping from your upbringing (maybe it's resilience, humor, or values) and what you're intentionally releasing. This isn't rejection of your parents; it's wisdom passed down and then refined. Talk to your kids about this too, age-appropriately. "Grandma showed me love through hard work, and I'm showing you love through presence—both are real." That kind of honesty teaches them that love evolves, that belonging doesn't mean carbon-copying, and that you can honor your family tree while planting new seeds. The loyalty isn't in doing things identically. It's in understanding why those things mattered, then deciding what matters to you.