How do I know if a friendship is built on mutual benefit or genuine care?

Rabia al-Adawiyya teaches us something radical: she loved without keeping score. Most friendships live in Aristotle's middle ground—utility friendships, where you help each other through work, school, or life stages. That's real and valuable. But genuine care is different. It shows up when there's nothing to gain. Does your friend text you about a hard day, not because they need something but because they thought of you? Do you do the same? The honest answer often comes from noticing: when circumstances change—you move cities, you can't help them anymore—does the friendship hold? Utility friendships naturally fade. That's not betrayal; it's honesty. But friendships rooted in who you actually are? Those persist quietly, without needing constant justification. Look at your friendships as a ecosystem, not a hierarchy. You might have three utility friendships, one leisure friendship you truly enjoy, and one person who knows your actual self. All of these are real. The question isn't whether every friendship meets some ideal—it's whether you're clear about what each one is, and whether you're showing up authentically in at least one.