How do I know if I'm repeating my family's patterns without realizing it?

Rabia teaches us that true devotion means seeing clearly—even what hurts. Start by noticing what triggers you most strongly in relationships or decisions. Do you find yourself reacting the same way a parent did? Do certain situations feel predetermined, like you're following a script you never wrote? Pay attention to your body: tension, shame, defensiveness. These are often where inherited patterns live. Talk to someone who knew you young—a sibling, cousin, old friend—and ask what they notice about your patterns. Sometimes we're too close to our own story. The tricky part is that the pattern often *feels* like protection or love, because it kept someone alive in your family. That doesn't make it yours to carry. Rabia's path was about breaking what didn't serve her spirit while honoring where she came from. You're not rejecting your family by naming what needs to change—you're loving them enough to do differently. Start small: pick one pattern that bothers you most, and for two weeks, just watch it without judgment. Notice when it shows up, what triggers it, what you need in that moment instead. Awareness is the first interruption.