How do I know if I'm losing myself in a friend group or community?

Rabia al-Adawiyya knew something we often forget: real belonging doesn't require you to shrink. When you're silencing your actual thoughts to keep the peace, when you're nodding along to things that contradict what you believe, when speaking up feels dangerous—that's the signal. It's not always dramatic. Sometimes it's just a persistent quiet inside, a sense that the version of you showing up isn't quite real. Ask yourself: Do I feel more alive or less alive around these people? Can I disagree without fear of exile? Am I making choices because I genuinely want to, or because I'm afraid of being left out? Rabia loved fiercely, but her devotion was always to something larger than the group's comfort. She didn't perform belonging; she lived it. The cost of forced belonging is always steep—it's your voice, your instincts, your integrity. Start by naming one thing you're hiding. Just one. See what happens when you tell someone you trust. Real community can handle your realness.