How do I know if I'm repeating my parents' patterns with my own children?

You notice it in moments—a tone of voice that sounds exactly like your mother's, a punishment that echoes something done to you, a way of shutting down when things get hard. That noticing? That's already the break happening. Rabia teaches us that true devotion isn't about perfection or erasing the past. It's about seeing clearly what was passed to you—the wounds, the defenses, the love that came tangled up with pain—and choosing something different, even imperfectly. Start small. Track one pattern you recognize. Not to shame yourself, but to understand it. Where does it come from? What was it trying to protect in your family? Then ask: Is this what I want to teach? If not, what would I choose instead? You won't break the cycle perfectly. You'll slip. But each time you pause instead of react, each time you apologize and try again, you're creating a new story for your children to inherit. That's the legacy worth breaking toward.