How do I know if I'm being a good parent to my adult child anymore?

You're asking the question, which is already a sign. Good parenting at this stage isn't about achievement or control. It's about presence, honesty, and showing up as a whole human—not just as "parent." Rabia al-Adawiyya loved beyond transaction. She didn't love God because of reward or punishment. She loved because love itself was the point. That's what this chapter asks of you: love your adult child because they deserve it, not because they owe you gratitude, respect, or success. You're being a good parent now when you: - Keep your word, even about small things - Admit when you're wrong - Take interest in their world without inserting yourself into every decision - Respect their boundaries, even when they hurt - Show them you have a life beyond them (this is crucial) The test is simple: would your child call you in crisis if they weren't sure whether you'd use it against them later? Would they share real struggles, or just surface updates? That's the meter. Let go of the idea that you should "still be parenting." Instead, ask: how can I be a trustworthy adult in their life? That shift—from parent-as-manager to parent-as-ally—is where real relationship begins. You're not done. You're just different now.