How do I know if I'm too attached to someone I don't really know?

There's a particular ache that comes when we pour devotion into someone who doesn't know our name. Rabia al-Adawiyya teaches us something vital here: she loved the Divine not for reward or recognition, but from the purity of her own heart. The question isn't whether your attachment is "too much"—it's whether it's feeding your own becoming or slowly hollowing you out. Notice the texture of your thoughts. Do you imagine conversations with this person? Do you interpret their actions as messages meant for you? Do you feel known by them, even though the knowing flows only one direction? These aren't signs of weakness. They're signs that you're hungry for connection, recognition, belonging—deeply human hungers. But here's what matters: parasocial attachments can become a substitute for the reciprocal relationships where you're actually seen. Rabia's love was transactional in its purity, yes, but it was also generative—it made her more whole, not less. Ask yourself: does this attachment move you toward deeper self-knowledge and real community, or does it keep you performing for an audience that cannot applaud? Start small. Find one person in your actual life and practice being fully known there. Not performing. Not curating. Just present. That's where belonging begins.