What do I do when parenting styles from my culture clash with what's expected here?

You're standing in two worlds with different rules, and both feel like home and discomfort at once. This is the real work—not choosing between them, but finding your own honest center. Rabia didn't operate from obligation or external judgment. She loved in the way that made sense to her soul. That's your permission slip here. When you feel pressure to parent 'like everyone else' or 'like your parents did,' pause. What is *your* non-negotiable as a parent? What reflects how you actually want to show up for your child? You might find you keep some practices from home—maybe discipline is firmer, or family loyalty runs deeper—while adapting others. Your child might ask why their house rules differ from their friend's house. That's worth answering honestly: 'This is what matters to our family because of where we come from and who we want to be.' The guilt will come. You'll worry you're not traditional enough or not assimilated enough. That's the split living inside you, not a sign you're doing it wrong. The parents who navigate this well aren't the ones who choose one culture—they're the ones who get honest about what they actually believe and then stay consistent with *that*. Start here: What do you want your child to remember about how you loved them? Build from that.