How do I figure out who I am outside of being a parent?

Rabia al-Adawiyya knew something we often forget: you can pour everything into love and still have a self. She didn't diminish her devotion to make room for herself—she understood that wholeness doesn't compete with commitment. Start small. Not with grand reinvention, but with noticing: What did you do before kids that made you feel alive? Not hobbies you're "supposed" to have, but moments when you forgot to perform. Maybe it was music, maybe conversation, maybe solitude. Those aren't luxuries—they're the thread back to yourself. The hardest part isn't finding time; it's believing you deserve it. Many parents feel selfish reclaiming even an hour. But consider this: your children are learning who to become partly by watching you. If they only see sacrifice, what are they learning about their own worth? You don't need to choose between being a devoted parent and a full person. In fact, you can't be truly present for your kids if you're only showing them the parent version of yourself. They need to see the whole person—curious, flawed, still becoming. This week, name one thing that's just for you. Not productivity. Not self-improvement. Just something that reminds you: you exist beyond this role.