How do I parent my kids when I'm struggling with depression or anxiety?

This is the question nobody wants to ask out loud, but so many of us are living. Here's what Rabia al-Adawiyya understood: pure devotion isn't about being perfect. It's about showing up as your whole self, fractures and all. When you're struggling, your children don't need a flawless version of you. They need *you*—honest, trying, sometimes failing. That's actually where belonging gets built. Tell your kids age-appropriate truths: "Mama's having a hard day with her feelings, and that's not your fault." Children are terrifyingly perceptive. They already sense something's different. Naming it reduces the shame they might carry about it. Practically: lower your standards for the day. Cereal for dinner is fine. Screen time is fine. What matters is one moment of real connection—even five minutes where you're fully present, not performing. That's not laziness; that's survival, and it's enough. Get support—therapy, medication, a friend who checks in. Not for them. For you. Because you can't pour from an empty cup, yes, but more importantly: your kids deserve to see you fighting for yourself. That teaches them their own struggles are worth fighting for too. That's the legacy.