How do I stop feeling like I don't belong in social groups?

Rabia al-Adawiyya teaches us something radical: belonging isn't something you earn by performing the right version of yourself. It's something you recognize when you're with people who see you without needing you to be anything other than what you are. What social anxiety often does is convince us we're being *judged* when we're actually just being *seen*. The difference matters. When you walk into a room, your nervous system is scanning for threat—but most people are thinking about themselves, not scrutinizing you. Start small: one person, one conversation where you don't edit yourself as much. Notice what happens when you say something true instead of safe. Does the sky fall? Usually not. Usually someone says, 'Yeah, me too.' Rabia loved without condition—not because she was fearless, but because she understood that real connection happens when we stop protecting ourselves from being known. You don't need to belong to *everyone*. You need to find your people. And they're looking for the real you, not the polished version. Try this: identify one person or small group where you feel even slightly safer being yourself. Invest there first. Belonging isn't a crowded room—it's a few people who get you.