Why do I feel anxious before social events even with close friends?

That pre-event anxiety is your nervous system preparing for judgment—even when you know logically that your closest people aren't judging you. It's the gap between what you know intellectually and what your body believes that creates the dread. Rabia al-Adawiyya didn't separate her love from her longing. She felt *both* at once—the ache of wanting connection and the joy of it. Your anxiety before seeing people you love isn't a sign something's wrong. It might be your heart registering that this matters to you. The trick is not to eliminate the anxiety but to change your relationship to it. When you notice it rising—that tightness, the self-doubt—pause and name it: *This is my nervous system trying to protect me from something that won't actually hurt me.* That's not dismissing it. That's being honest with yourself. Practically: arrive early if possible. Less sensory shock. Eat something. Ground yourself in one person before spreading attention wide. Have an exit plan (not to use, just to know it's there). These aren't crutches—they're permissions to show up as yourself. And here's what Rabia knew: love and anxiety can exist in the same moment. You can feel both nervous *and* grateful to be there. Both are true. Neither cancels the other out.