How do I find genuine community without losing my sense of self?

This is the question Rabia lived inside of, actually. She belonged completely to her spiritual path while remaining utterly herself—no performance, no dilution. The tension you're feeling isn't a problem to solve; it's the real work. Start by noticing where you code-switch. With which people do you become smaller? That's information. Genuine community doesn't require you to sand down your edges. It requires you to find people whose sharpness complements yours, not contradicts it. Rabia teaches us this: devotion to something larger than yourself—whether that's a cause, a faith, a creative practice—actually clarifies who you are rather than obscuring it. When you're anchored to something real, you're less likely to dissolve into the group. Practically: start conversations from your actual interests, not your guesses about what others want to hear. Show up as the version of yourself that's driven by something genuine. People who resonate with *that* are your people. The others will drift away, and that's not rejection—it's alignment. Belonging isn't about fitting in everywhere. It's about fitting in *somewhere*, with people who see you and stay anyway.