How do I decide how much money to leave my children without spoiling them?

This question assumes inheritance is primarily about money—but Rabia would gently push back. She loved without calculation, without ledgers of worth. The real question isn't the dollar amount; it's what you're actually passing on. Start by asking: What do my children need to flourish without me? Not luxury—flourishing. Then ask what they'll inherit that's irreplaceable: stories, values, your way of showing up for others, the models of generosity you lived. Some people leave substantial funds with conditions attached (education, mentorship, charity). Others leave less money but more responsibility—naming their children as stewards of a legacy, not just recipients. One practical approach: leave enough that they're not crushed by grief into poverty, but not so much they never discover what they're capable of creating themselves. And consider this—the families who navigate inheritance well aren't debating percentages. They're talking openly about why this matters, what it means, and how it connects to who they want to be together. Start the conversation now, not in your will. Your children deserve to understand your reasoning, not just the numbers.