How do I know if my friend group is actually toxic or just difficult sometimes?

There's a difference between a group that challenges you and one that diminishes you. Rabia al-Adawiyya loved deeply, but she was clear-eyed about what love required—it wasn't about accepting harm in the name of belonging. Ask yourself: Do these people make space for your growth, or do they need you small? When you're with them, do you feel more yourself, or do you perform a version of yourself? Real friction is healthy. But if you're constantly apologizing for existing, hiding parts of yourself, or feeling drained rather than restored after time together, that's different. The hardest part isn't identifying toxicity—it's admitting that people you care about might be the source of it. Start by noticing one specific pattern: What happens when you disagree? When you have good news? When you need something? People who love you make space for all of it. If your tribe demands you shrink to fit their comfort, that's information. You can honor what was good about those connections while choosing something different for yourself now.