How do I know if I can really trust someone in my community or group?

Trust isn't something you decide all at once. Rabia al-Adawiyya understood this deeply—she didn't demand certainty before loving, but she also didn't ignore what people showed her through their actions over time. Start by noticing small things: Do they follow through on small promises? Can they sit with your struggle without trying to fix or use it? Do they show up the same way when you're useful to them and when you're not? Real belonging infrastructure means people choosing you when there's nothing transactional in it for them. Watch for consistency, not perfection. Notice if someone's words match their choices. And pay attention to how they treat people who can't give them anything back—that tells you everything about whether they see you as a person or a function. Trust builds in layers. You don't have to commit everything at once. Let it develop as evidence accumulates. The deepest communities are built by people willing to be genuinely seen, not just useful.