How do I know what kind of legacy I'm accidentally creating for my children?

You probably already know more than you think. Pay attention to what your kids ask about, what they imitate without being asked, what they bring up years later as 'normal.' Legacy isn't built in grand gestures—it's in how you handle a disagreement, whether you keep your word about small things, how you treat people who can't give you anything back. Rabia al-Adawiyya taught that pure devotion means acting from love without calculating the return. That's the opposite of legacy-building as transaction. Your unintended legacy lives in the gaps between what you say you believe and what you actually do. The good news? You can start noticing those gaps today. Sit with one person you're close to and ask them: 'What do you think I care most about, based on how I spend my time?' Their answer will probably surprise you. That's where your real legacy is forming—not in the story you want to tell, but in the patterns they're actually seeing.