Why do I keep accepting bad treatment from people who say they love me

Because you learned early that love and pain can live in the same person. That's not weakness. That's what happened to you. When someone raises you—when they're the first face you see, the voice that tells you who you are—their version of love becomes your template. If that love came with conditions, criticism, or cruelty, you internalized the message: this is what love looks like. You might even believe you deserve it, or that tolerating it proves your devotion. Rabia spent her life loving God with radical, unconditional devotion—but she was clear about something crucial: she didn't love God because she feared punishment or wanted reward. She loved freely. She also had boundaries. She didn't confuse submission with love. When you accept bad treatment, you're often still trying to earn belonging from the people who taught you that belonging had to be earned through suffering. It's a pattern, not a flaw in you. Breaking it means learning a different version of love. One where someone can adore you and also respect you. Where devotion doesn't require you to accept harm. Where belonging isn't a transaction. Notice when you're tolerating something. Ask: would I accept this from someone I barely know? If the answer is no, that's information. Your instinct knows the difference. Start listening to it.