How do I find spiritual community when my religious group has hurt me?

Rabia al-Adawiyya knew something about loving without needing institutional approval—she loved God directly, fiercely, without waiting for a mosque or a title to validate it. When your religious community fails you, that hurt is real. It's not weakness to grieve what you expected and didn't get. But here's what I'd offer: belonging doesn't have to come from the same place your wound did. Some people find it in smaller circles—a study group, a kitchen table conversation, a friend who gets it. Others discover that their deepest spiritual work happens alone first, until they're strong enough to be selective about who they let in. You don't have to choose between "stay and endure" or "leave and be alone." There's a third path: building or finding community that matches who you actually are now, not who you were told to be. That might look nothing like what you imagined. It might be smaller, messier, more honest. Start by asking yourself: what did I actually need from that community that I didn't get? Connection? Acceptance? Safety? Intellectual honesty? Then look for those specific things—not in institutions necessarily, but in people and spaces. Rabia teaches us that love survives institutions. So can you.