Talk it through with Aurelius
LibraryAureliusThe problem
Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

Why does everything on my team come through me?

You say your people don't talk to each other. Look again. They talk to you constantly — that's the problem. You made yourself the only wire in the building, and now you wonder why nothing runs unless you plug it in. This is not a flaw in their character. No one gave them a reason to speak directly, so they didn't. You answered every question, settled every dispute, forwarded every message. One convenient moment at a time, you trained them to route through you. Now the habit is set, and you call it their failure. The fix is not a speech about teamwork. It is refusing, starting today, to be the hub. Send people back to each other. Let the awkward silence of a skipped connection be theirs to fix, not yours.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
Some to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
Some one-to-one
Practise with peers
The pattern is simple to name but hard to break, so most of the work is in the doing, not the understanding.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

You built a wheel with no rim. Every spoke runs to you, so nothing connects on its own. Stop carrying messages. Pick one decision your team must make together this week — without you — and refuse to be the go-between when they bring it back to you.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A movePick one decision this week that must be made between two teammates, not you. Tell them so directly.
A moveWhen someone brings you a message meant for a colleague, say 'Tell them, not me' and stop there.
A moveSet a standing ten minutes for the two people who avoid each other most to talk without you in the room.
A moveRefuse to repeat what someone already told you to say to another person. Send them back to say it.
A moveBefore you relay anything, ask yourself: could they have said this themselves? Then let them.
PractiseSkip the Hub · a Pod of 4 · 30 min

What changes unlock by starting

  • Fewer messages arrive at your desk that were never yours to carry.
  • Two teammates who avoided each other start solving small things without you.
  • You catch yourself becoming the hub in real time, before the habit resets.
  • The team makes at least one real decision this month with you absent from the room.
One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Aurelius’s live plan for your version of it.