LibraryPatternsStep Into Your AuthorityI act as though being in charge means always having t…
Problem
Toward Craftsmanship

I act as though being in charge means always having the answer, so I bluff or deflect rather than say I do not know. Pretending to a certainty I do not have is exhausting, and my team can tell when I am winging it.

Part of the pattern: Step Into Your Authority
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The coach is replying…
You might also say it as
  • “I feel I must always have the answer”
  • “I cannot say I do not know as a leader”
  • “I bluff certainty I do not have”
The path forward
  1. 1Notice the urge to bluff
  2. 2Say 'I don't know' once
  3. 3Notice the team respects it
One thing to try this week
Say I do not know yet, let me find out once this week to your team. Watching their trust hold is how you learn certainty was never the job.
Related problems
Among more senior leaders I shrink — I defer, I stay quiet, I do not claim my seat at the table even when I have earned it. My authority that is solid with my own team evaporates the moment I am the junior one in the room.Delegation requires giving away authority along with the task. The task I can give away. The authority that goes with it I cannot release. The result is delegation without authority — which does not actually work.Every time I exercise authority I feel like the bad guy even when what I am doing is right and necessary.From the outside I present authority clearly. Inside I am frequently uncertain about whether I am the right person for this role, whether the decisions are right, whether the direction is correct.I am the one who ends meetings. If someone else tries to close the meeting I experience a mild but real discomfort. The small ritual of ending the meeting is about authority.I am the recognised expert in the room. People defer to me. I spend the whole time waiting to be exposed as less certain than I am presenting. The gap between my public authority and my private doubt is wide.

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