The short answer
What you're calling a flaw is actually a strength. Meeting people in their world takes real skill. And knowing your own limits isn't weakness — it's the clearest sign that your thinking is honest. Most people mistake certainty for intelligence. You've moved past that.
You can walk into almost any conversation and find common ground. And instead of feeling proud about that, you feel exposed by how much you don't know. That tension is real. Research on humility suggests that people who genuinely recognize their own limits — rather than performing modesty — tend to think more clearly and stay more open to learning. The discomfort you feel isn't a warning sign. It's the feeling of being intellectually alive.
Marcus Aurelius once asked himself how many people born at the same time as him were already gone. He wasn't being morbid. He was reminding himself that time is short, and that keeping score of what you don't know is a better use of it than pretending you do. The canon on hypo-egoic humility — the kind where you simply don't need to be the center — points to the same thing. You're not shrinking. You're just not inflating yourself either. That's rarer than you think.
This week, pick one conversation where you normally stay quiet because you feel out of your depth. Stay in it a little longer than feels comfortable. Ask one question you'd usually hold back. Notice what happens. You already have the instinct to meet people where they are — now let yourself trust it.