Talk it through with Aurelius
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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

My top performer is toxic — why do I keep excusing it?

You say it like this: they hit every target, but they wreck the room. People go quiet in meetings. Good people start looking for other jobs. And you keep telling yourself it's complicated. It is not complicated. You have decided their numbers matter more than everyone else's morning. That is a choice you are making, right now, every day you say nothing. Calling it "complicated" just lets you keep making it without feeling the weight of it. The person is not the problem you can solve today. Your next action is. What you say to them, this week, is within your power. Start there.

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GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
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1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
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A little with peers
The reader already understands the diagnosis; what they lack is the will to act, so the page should push toward specific moves rather than teach new concepts.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

You already know the answer. You are trading your team's health for a number on a spreadsheet. That is a choice, not fate. Stop calling it complicated. Name what the behavior costs others. Set one boundary this week. Act on it — or admit you have chosen output over people.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveWrite down exactly what the behavior costs — hours lost, people who avoid speaking up, talent quietly job-hunting.
A movePick one specific incident and say it out loud to them, plainly, this week.
A moveSet one boundary with a real consequence, and name it before you need to enforce it.
A moveDecide a deadline: if nothing changes in 30 days, what will you actually do?
A moveNotice when you start protecting yourself from the discomfort instead of protecting your team.

What changes unlock by starting

  • You stop dressing up avoidance as patience.
  • You have exact words ready for the hard conversation.
  • You set one boundary with a real deadline attached.
  • Your team sees you choose their wellbeing, not just the numbers.

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