LibraryPatternsLeadershipI was promoted above people who used to be my peers a…
Problem
Toward Service

I was promoted above people who used to be my peers and it has made every interaction awkward.

Part of the pattern: Leadership
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The coach is replying…
The path forward
  1. 1Name the awkwardness directly
  2. 2Address it with each person
  3. 3Build the new dynamic deliberately
One thing to try this week
Have a direct conversation with one former peer about how the dynamic has changed.
Related problems
As a supervisor I'm supposed to hold my team through secondary trauma while carrying my own, and there's no one holding me.I absorb difficult things from above — pressure, criticism, ambiguity — and deliver a buffered version to my team. The team is protected and underprepared for the reality of the environment they are working in.I am excellent at managing my relationship with senior leadership. I am much worse at the actual management of my team. I have been rewarded for the wrong skill.I avoid committing to a clear vision or direction because, once stated, it could turn out wrong. So I keep things open and reactive, and my team feels the absence — they are working hard with no sense of where any of it is going.I avoid giving my people stretching assignments because if they fail, it reflects on me and I would have to manage the fallout. So I keep them safe and small, and I am quietly capping the growth of the very people I am meant to develop.I avoid making decisions unilaterally by pulling everyone in and waiting for consensus that never comes.

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