The short answer
Stop letting silence do the work you should be doing. Book the conversation this week. Say plainly what happened, what it was based on, and what a real path forward could look like. One honest hour beats months of awkward nothing.
You're avoiding the conversation because it feels hard. But the longer you wait, the more the silence fills in the blanks — and people rarely fill blanks with generous assumptions. Research on career development points to something consistent: people handle hard news better when they understand the real reasoning behind a decision. What stings most isn't the 'no.' It's the feeling of being left to guess. Your team member is probably already guessing.
Marcus writes about doing nothing with reluctance — not because reluctance makes you a coward, but because acting against your own better judgment creates a kind of slow rot. You already know what's right here. You said it yourself: they deserve to hear it from you, with honesty. That knowing is the thing to follow. The avoidance isn't protecting anyone. It's just postponing the discomfort while adding to it.
This week, book a private one-on-one with a specific time — don't leave it as a vague plan. When you sit down, lead with what the decision was based on, not just what it wasn't. Then ask what they need from you going forward. You don't have to have a perfect answer for everything. You just have to show up and be straight with them. That's the whole job.