Talk it through with Aurelius
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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

I can talk anyone into a leap. How do I know it's not just a sale?

You say you can land almost any candidate. That is true, and it is a skill. But you have started to distrust it, and you are right to. The same tongue that helps a person see clearly can also talk them into your plan and call it their decision. This is not only your problem. If you work with others who close the same way, you can talk each other into believing the pitch was counsel. A pod of skilled persuaders is more dangerous than one, because you confirm each other's confidence instead of checking it. The test is simple, not comfortable. Would this person take the leap if you said nothing at all? If yes, you helped them see. If no, you moved them. Know which one you did, before you take credit for the outcome.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
A little to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
Some one-to-one
Practise with peers
The person already knows the skill at issue; what they lack is a disciplined practice for checking their own motives, which is a coaching problem more than a teaching one.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

Your skill is not the problem. Your refusal to test it is the problem. Before you persuade someone, ask what they would decide without your voice in the room. If you cannot answer that plainly, you are not advising them — you are performing on them. Separate the two, every time, out loud.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveBefore every pitch, write down what you would advise if you earned nothing from their decision.
A moveAfter you close, ask the candidate what they would have done without you — and sit through the silence.
A moveBring your pod one real close a month and let them question your method, not your result.
A moveSay your fee out loud before you give advice, if the money depends on the yes.
A moveOnce a month, tell the candidate the real risk first, before you tell them the upside.
PractiseThe Silent Test · a Pod of 4 · 30 min

What changes unlock by starting

  • You notice, in the moment, when you are informing versus when you are moving someone.
  • Your pod starts checking each other's closes, not just celebrating each other's placements.
  • You lose some placements you should lose, and feel no less sure of yourself for it.
  • You trust your own recommendations again, because you have tested them against silence.

Related problems

One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Aurelius’s live plan for your version of it.