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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

Why am I blamed for problems I didn't cause?

Every day a complaint lands on you. The product breaks, the order is late, the feature is missing — and you are the one who answers for it. That is not fair. No one promised it would be. But look at what you are doing with this unfairness. You are treating 'make the customer happy' and 'fix the product' as one job. They are not the same job. One is yours. The other belongs to people who do not sit where you sit. Confusing the two will wear you down faster than any angry customer ever could. Separate them, and the work gets smaller. Smaller, and possible.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
Some to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
Mostly you & the coach
A little with peers
The core idea — sorting what's yours from what isn't — takes only a short explanation; the real change happens through practice, call by call.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

You are not responsible for the product. You are responsible for how you meet the customer in front of you — your words, your tone, your honesty. Separate those two things. Stop absorbing blame that belongs to the roadmap. Start owning the one thing you actually control: this conversation, right now.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveBefore each hard call, name out loud what you control: your tone, your honesty, your follow-through. Nothing else.
A moveWhen someone blames you personally, say plainly: 'That part isn't mine to fix, but I will make sure you're heard.' Then follow through.
A moveAfter each hard interaction, write one line: what was mine, what wasn't. Read the list back after a week.
A moveStop apologizing for decisions you did not make. Apologize only for your own part — the wait, the tone, the slow answer.
A moveSend the pattern of complaints to the people who own the product, in writing, once a week. Then let it go. You have not failed if they do nothing.

What changes unlock by starting

  • You stop carrying guilt that was never yours to carry.
  • Your answers to customers get shorter, calmer, and more honest.
  • You learn, in writing, whether the company will act on what you hear.
  • The job gets smaller and clearer — still hard, but no longer impossible.

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The same struggle, seen by other coaches
One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Aurelius’s live plan for your version of it.