You feel your relationship is codependent

This fear is worth understanding carefully, for the answer is not to love less. Needing each other is not the problem; losing yourselves is — relying on each other and being deeply attached is healthy and good, that is what love is; the trouble comes only when the dependence becomes a loss of self, two half-people who cannot function apart, so distinguish healthy interdependence, where two whole people choose to rely on each other, from codependence. Rebuild the separate selves the enmeshment dissolved — reclaim your own friendships, pursuits, and capacity to be okay alone, frightening as separateness can feel in a codependent bond, for two whole people make a far healthier love than two halves clinging. And love from choice, not from the fear of falling apart — move from a bond held by the dread of separateness to one held by desire, two people who could survive apart choosing to be together, which is stronger and sweeter. Aim to want each other, not to need each other to survive. Where have you lost your separate selves?