You keep trying to fix or save the person you love

Ah, the heart that tries to love someone into wholeness — I know this generous mistake, and I will be honest with you. You cannot love someone into being fixed — people change only when they choose to and do their own work, not because someone loves them enough, so your love, however great, cannot do their healing for them, and believing it can sets you pouring endlessly into a bottomless need; set down the impossible project. The fixing may be about your needs, not just theirs — the pattern often lets you feel needed, avoids your own vulnerability, or recreates a familiar caretaker role, so seeing this without shame reveals the rescuing partly meets your own needs through their brokenness, which you can then meet more directly. And love them as they are, or love someone you need not fix — accept the real person if who they are is enough, or release them and find someone whose real self you can love, but stop loving a fantasy of their potential while trying to make the real them match it. Who are you trying to fix, and what does the fixing do for you?