You feel like you're too much for people
You have been made to feel you are too much — too intense, too emotional, too loud, too ambitious, too your-self — and so you constantly try to tone yourself down, take up less space, be more palatable. You carry a sense that your fullness is a burden others must endure, and you shrink to spare them the too-muchness of you.
I was told all my life that I was too much for a woman to be, so let me put the right question to you. Too much for whom, exactly? — what is too much for one person is exactly right for another, for the smallness that suits a timid soul cannot contain a large one, so you are not too much in any absolute sense but too much for particular people who prefer less, which is a fact about their capacity, not your excess. Shrinking to fit the small-capacity people costs you the large ones — the muted you cannot attract those who want your fullness because they cannot see it, so the shrinking is doubly costly, losing you both yourself and your true matches. And find the people and places large enough for you — those delighted by your intensity and depth, who exist though the ones who found you too much made you doubt it. Go where you fit at full size. Who has made you feel like too much?
What changes unlock by starting
- You see 'too much' is relative to their capacity
- You stop shrinking to fit the wrong people
- You let your full size sort the right from the wrong
- You find people and places large enough for you